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Welcome to Emma Clarke’s global soapbox – the antidote to modern living, encapsulated in a series of freewheeling rants.

Can you feel the buzz?

(Please be warned:  the content of this blog is unsuitable for anyone under 18, or anyone who regularly reads The Daily Mail). This blog is also featured on fab new site:  bitchbuzz.com One of the commercials I had to read this morning was for broadcast on a local radio station for an…

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I am the Chlamydia voice of choice

It’s official.  I am ‘the Chlamydia voice of choice.’ Today one of my clients sent me ANOTHER ad about sexually transmitted diseases.  I’m beginning to see a pattern.  The client sent me an email:  “I saw this script and thought of you,“ he wrote. I’ll level with you, Reader: I’m…

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“I’m sorry I have a cold.”

I’ve been off work this week with a cold.  Now, some of you might think this is pathetic – off work with a sniffle!  But think about it, Reader.  I talk for a living.  And who wants Nasal Nelly on their ad?  I’ll tell you.  NO-ONE! Mercy For me, getting a cold…

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“Is there something he’s not telling me?”

A brand new  video has just been released starring me, Rich Sweetman and the legendary Peter Dickson. “Is there something he’s not telling me?” is a film by The Mental Spa podcast team.  It’s part of the forthcoming podcast feature “The Peter Dickson Relationship Workshop for the Emotionally Inadequate.” Watch, weep, wee.

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A fan writes…

This week I had an email from a man from Brazil asking me to ‘defend’ what I’m wearing. Now, I think the essence of his message might have got lost in translation. I think he might have wanted me to describe what I’m wearing but hey-ho.  He might not actually have been…

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And I could have told you, Vincent…

...the trains were never meant for one as beautifully voiced as you... Far be it from me to comment on the sexiness of the world’s transport announcers, but this story just can’t be ignored. Vincent Houplain is a platform announcer in Scotland and apparently, his French accent is sending Edinburgh commuters all…

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