Blog

Welcome to Emma Clarke’s global soapbox – the antidote to modern living, encapsulated in a series of freewheeling rants.

the girl in the office

Here’s a glimpse into a conversation I have many, many times a month. Customer: But the girl in the office could record our on-hold message. She’s got a lovely voice. She sounds like Carole Vorderman. Me: Why were you thinking of hiring a professional voiceover? What made you think of contacting me?…

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scams

Today I was asked to record something for a ‘mystic phone line.’ The message was really long (and therefore really expensive for the caller to listen to) and it told the caller that if they carried on listening, they’d be given good luck, would come into some money and maybe even…

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dodgy translations

My overseas customers are great.  They’re a fab, (mainly) easy-going bunch of people to work for who send me scripts with clear pronunciation guides and plenty of lead-time.  But sometimes, just sometimes, they send me some really dodgy English translations. What, for example, does “please ambush for a juncture in…

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sound effects

Radio copywriters – don’t we just love ‘em! – really, really like sound effects. And who can blame them? After all, radio’s the theatre of the mind. But sometimes copywriters forget they’re writing for radio, or seem to. Here are some of my very favourite sound effects, as suggested by copywriters: The sound of sunshine Approaching…

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why i’ll never do porn

I can talk like a red hot hottie. I can sound as though I’m wearing nothing but a layer of baby oil and a willing smile. Loads of commercials I get to voice have the direction ‘sexy’ at the top. And sometimes I do a voice that sounds too sexy – I…

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