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Welcome to Emma Clarke’s global soapbox – the antidote to modern living, encapsulated in a series of freewheeling rants.

Girl ex machina

  "Emma, can you sound abnormal?" As a conversation opener, it's an eyebrow-raiser. The caller elaborated. "I mean, can you sound not quite human?" "It's how I sound most of the time," I quipped drolly. "I know that. But I want you to…

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