This is not a picture of me skiing.
This is not a picture of me skiing.

Now I’m all for advertisers having a clear idea of who they’re targeting. Actually, I love it. Just look at Sky AdSmart, Facebook advertising and the wonder of Spotify. It means advertisers can target consumers by postcode, demographic, interests, buying habits, viewing habits, music taste etc etc. But sometimes, sometimes, it gets outta hand.

Take today. I had a script with the direction “the female voiceover is 32 – 35, is an urban professional, lives in a quiet two-bedroom mews, reads The Guardian, listens to Adele, Coldplay and Ella Henderson, does Pilates, has a meat-free Monday, loves Prosecco, has one cat and is in a monogamous relationship with Josh, a quantity surveyor and has been skiing once during the past twelve months as well as enjoying a weekend away in Paris where she hoped to get engaged at the top of the Eiffel Tower but Josh didn’t ask her, the selfish commitment-phobic bastard.” (OK, I made that last bit up).

And the words I had to record on the script?

Well, reader, there were two. TWO WORDS. I just had to say the name of the product. IT WAS FOUR SYLLABLES IN TOTAL.

So you can imagine the session.

Me: SAYS THE TWO WORDS.

Agency: You don’t sound as if you’ve been skiing in the past twelve months. Could you do it again?

Me: But I went skiing 15 months ago!

Agency: Sorry, you’ve got to sound as if you’ve been skiing within the past 12 months. So if you could sound like that, that’d be great. Thanks!!

 

To hear some ads I’ve recorded that are a bit out of the ordinary, click here.

If you’d like to go on a skiing holiday, click here!

Or here!

 

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