I’ve spent the past few days dealing with real life and haven’t been online much. (I know – crazy, right?) And when I ventured back onto Twitter, it was spilling over with the horrors of the world. Allegations of the American President being a Russian puppet. The government’s Brexit plans appear to be unraveling. And images, my God, devastating images of children dying in Syria after a chemical attack. And then suddenly we have Theresa May condemning chocolate eggs.

The world, it seems, is going a bit more mad with every passing day.

Why is our Prime Minister, reluctant to comment on so many issues deserving of condemnation, choosing instead to express outrage about Easter Eggs?

Why do we need to be reminded to stay ‘on message’ about the pressing concerns swirling around the Trump White House and, by association, global security?

Yesterday, while pictures of children dying were flashing up, why was Donald Trump reminiscing over his yuge Electoral College win?

 

When I saw this Tweet this morning I punched the air and said “YES!” as if its crystalline logic was a life-raft, saving me from sinking into ever murkier twaters. (ie Twitter waters. Not twatters. That’s something entirely different).

But this is ridiculous, surely? To have to appeal to grown adults to use facts, critical thinking and logic to help us understand and thrive in the world? To hope that maybe just sometimes world leaders might opt to simply do the right thing??

Because of course now we live in a world of Alternative Facts. A curious place, where you get to say what the hell you want and when people question it, they’re branded as heretics, nutters or undemocratic fools.

 

The world is going mad.

I’m no politician. God, I put on funny voices for a living. But what I’m watching unfold on my various collection of screens is bat-shit bloody crazy. Are we honestly at a stage where people in public life need to be urged not to lie quite so brazenly? That being a decent human being might mean putting aside one’s own self-interest just for a sec? That facts really do matter??

A few weeks ago my daughter did a stand-up comedy routine musing on what would happen if the policies of Donald Trump were adopted as school rules. It was hilarious, terrifying and daft. But there’s a serious question there: what if, in our regular everyday lives we all adopted the same ideology and personal style of some of our leaders? The lying, the bombast, the scant respect for fundamental truths? What if, as a parent, I were to  approach raising my kids in the same way?

Kid: Mum, can you make my dinner, please? I’m starving.  You said you’d do it an hour ago.

Me:  I’m unable to make your dinner now because of what President Obama did several years ago.

Kid: Um…whut??

Me: Let me be clear, during our negotiations you didn’t specify your dinner requirements in detail so it’s unreasonable of you to start making demands now.

Kid: I’m just really hungry, Mum.

Me: No you’re not.

Kid: Yes I am. I’ve not eaten since breakfast and it’s nearly bedtime.

Me: No, honey – it’s lunchtime.

Kid: But…it’s dark outside.

Me: It most certainly is. But that’s not night-time, sugar. That’s Doom caused by Muslims.

 

What if, when a new customer approaches me to record something, I deployed the same flavour of negotiating skill?

Customer: You said you’d deliver the audio to me by Friday. You’re four days late.

Me: No I’m not. It is Friday.

Customer: No, it’s Tuesday.

Me: Suck it up, snowflake. It’s Friday.

 

 

Honestly, if we truly are living in a computer simulated world, as these Oxford professors believe we are please can someone hit reset? Or run some anti-virus software or something? I really don’t like where we’re heading.

 

To learn more about me and my work, click here.

 

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