“Can you sound like a mad clown in a cowshed?”
The phone rang. It was a regular customer. "Can you sound like a mad clown in a cowshed?" "Do bears shit the pope?" I quipped. "What?" said the customer. "Never mind. I'll send you the script and we'll give it a try." The script was an intriguing series of non…
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Blink-and-you’ll-miss-me just after midnight
No, it's not the title of a little-known Abba song. Tonight, just after the stroke of midnight, London will celebrate the first minutes of 2018 with a firework display like no other. Set against the iconic backdrop of the London skyline, it's a sight to behold. If you're watching (or…
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What happens when you stare at a lake for waaaay too long
This is a poem I wrote years ago while sitting mesmerised by Lake Windermere. (Look, I'd had a hard night). I was staring at it for hours and hours; it's formidable and beautiful and the most truly awesome view I've ever seen. The result was this poem. The chaps at…
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In which a freelancer politely asks for payment on very old invoices and is blacklisted for doing so
I've recorded this blog post. Have a listen if you don't have time to read it. It's great being freelance. The freedom to work when you choose (which in reality is most of the time), the freedom to take holidays whenever you want (which is hardly ever), the freedom to…
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“Dear Emma Clarke, do you do men?”
Reader, it's a question I'm sometimes asked. In this case, the follow-up question was "Specifically, do you do Yorkshire men? In a comedy way?" O the answers I could've supplied. As a pro voiceover the requests I get from customers are rich and varied. "Can you sound normal?" (Tricky, but…
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This is the most extraordinary Santa voice you’ll ever hear.
When international voice sensation and long-time studio pal Rich Sweetman was asked to do a Santa impression, nobody guessed what would happen next. I only caught the merest hints of it through the studio door (NOT that I was crouched there listening or anything) but I'll be honest, it sounded…
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