Welcome to Emma Clarke’s global soapbox – the antidote to modern living, encapsulated in a series of freewheeling rants.

It’s radio, see?

The phone rang. "We've got an ad to make," said the producer, miserably. "Great!" I giggled. "It's a TV ad. Er...except it's not." "Eh?" "It's a radio ad...but the writer's written a (BLEEP) telly ad. Again." Then the producer said something that not even I can bring myself to write…

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