why i’ll never do porn

I can talk like a red hot hottie. I can sound as though I’m wearing nothing but a layer of baby oil and a willing smile. Loads of commercials I get to voice have the direction ‘sexy’ at the top. And sometimes I do a voice that sounds too sexy – I mean, who wants to hear a sexy voice on an ad selling cut-price compost? – sometimes a sexy read is just gratuitous, and if I had a quid for every time I’ve been asked to recreate that scene from ‘When Harry Met Sally…‘

But I won’t do porn. Ever.

I get asked, often.You know, doing some dubbing, reading a saucy story and so on. A few months ago a bloke rang up to ask if I was interested in doing some work for a phone-line. “What kind of work?” I asked, suspiciously. “Oh, it’s nothing rude, like,“ he said, defensively. “It’s just a phone line that gives people medical information.”

I wasn’t convinced. The guy sounded like a cross between Bernard Manning and a sweaty thong. “What kind of medical information?” I asked.

There was a pause. “Anal sex,“ he replied.

I declined.

I’m not a prude – hell, far from it – but I don’t think I could do that kind of thing properly. For one, I couldn’t take it seriously.  I’d burst out laughing on the build-up to the money shot… But also I don’t know how I’d be able to look my kids in the eye and know what I’d done to pay for their Play Dough. And to be honest, there’s something icky about knowing that on cold, lonely nights, somewhere, for someone, my voice is providing relief…

TV Confessional – a piece of music in progress

Hot off the press: my new book ‘Virtually Me’

Sixteenth Week of Lockdown – some new music

Previous Blog Next Blog
Avatar image

Emma Clarke

Emma is an award-winning voiceover, broadcaster and writer. Want to find out more about Emma?
Read more about Emma
Read some TestimonialsGo back to Home

Some of Emma’s clients

Testimonial image
“The perfect delivery. Every single time. Guaranteed. And always up for a brew and some cake.”
Chris Stevens, director, Devaweb
Testimonial image
“Emma is the best. I have no hesitation in recommending her for any voice over – she can handle anything.”
Mike Wyer, BBC