This afternoon me and Rich Sweetman had a party. It wasn’t a big party. In fact, there was just the two of us, a plate of Asda toad-in-the-hole-style nibbles, a bumper packet of Frazzles, a quiche and my ‘Funky Disco’ iPod playlist. Oh, and a couple of bottles of Tizer. (As IF me and Rich would EVER consume ALCOHOL while available for DUTY). We had a top time. We even had a quiz! Who says we don’t know how to have fun? FOOLS, that’s who.
It was still very busy today, mainly with last minute Sales & Promotions stuff…or scripts that the writers had forgotten to put into production. Doh! I had a bit of a struggle with one script because it contained the words ‘swimming pool.’ I don’t know why, I just can’t say ‘swimming pool’ properly, at speed. I wonder if I have labia issues. (For anyone not familiar with organic speech production, I’m referring to sounds made by the lips and am by no means implying anything salacious…) I think the secret is labial control…but perhaps here I’m in danger of putting too much thought into this…
During one read I was particularly rubbish because a) I was paying no attention whatsoever to the words I was reading b) I paid no attention to any direction the producer gave me and c) I forgot the timing I needed to achieve. And why? Because I was thinking about what’s in my fridge. Has it past its sell-by? Did I remember to get the brandy butter? Was I wrong to buy quite so many parsnips? (Like a lot of people at this time of year, I find myself panic-buying root vegetables). Yes, Reader, I was in the midst of a Christmas Anxiety moment. The producer was very nice about it and patiently kept saying “Rolling!” whenever I lost my gist. I can only hope that the no-joining-fee gym membership ad didn’t suffer too much. I hope listeners won’t be able to tell that as I was extolling the benefits of cardio-vascular apparatus, I was actually thinking about eating my own bodyweight in profiteroles. O the hypocrisy!
So once Rich and I had finished our voicing shift, we PARTIED HARD. You should’ve seen us. It was WILD here in the office. We played the ‘what are your top 5 sitcoms / novelty records / endangered species’ game and I have to say we concurred on most categories in a way that suggests either mind-reading or brain-washing – it’s hard to tell which…
And once the last Frazzle was eaten, the last tune fizzled to a slow fade and the Tizer (of course it was Tizer!) was nought but a memory, we called it a day and knocked off for the year. And how did Rich cope with the excitement? Reader, I carried him.