All publicity’s good publicity, right?

You should always be grateful to see your name and photo in the press, right? Because it’s gotta be good for business, yeah?

That may be true. But seeing my bloated features in the popular press always makes me feel a bit bilious. Especially if I’m on the page, cheek by jowl with someone who’s talking utter, absolute rubbish about my industry, as if I’m somehow associated with them, that I somehow endorse what they’re saying. And even more especially if it’s touted that my sole ability is being able to say place names with supernatural ease.

I understand that many people want to become a voiceover; according to today’s paper, it’s really, really easy money. A doddle, even.

I get many, many emails every week from people who’ve seen me mentioned in articles just like the one that’s been published today, asking me to share tips, insights and (I swear this is true) client names with people who’ve read in the paper that voicing’s money for old rope.

It’s not.

For anyone who might believe that being a voiceover is a Holy Grail overflowing with treasure and pies, here are some spoilers:

– You really do have to start with more than a cheap microphone.
– If the best soundproofing you have to offer your clients is putting a duvet over your head, you’re going to sound rubbish.
– A microphone and a duvet does not a voiceover make.

So to all the people who’ve already emailed me after seeing my poor radio-friendly mug in the paper today, the best advice I have for you is this:

BEFORE YOU EMBARK ON A VOICEOVER CAREER, PLEASE, MAKE SURE YOU HAVE ACTUAL TALENT.

To hear me say more than place names, sat nav announcements etc, click here.