Secretly, I want to be a local radio newsreader…
I love local radio newsreaders
Newsreaders have a lot to offer. They do. You’ve got to love the unique style of delivery they bring to our hourly bulletins: the effortless way they slide from a downbeat story about war / natural disasters / plague to fluffy human interest items, usually featuring animals or old people triumphing over adversity with no change in tone whatsoever. It’s a skill that should be recognised! How do they manage to achieve such a compelling nasal twang? Do they get special training? Do they have to pass a test? Do they all speak like that in real life?? I hope they do – imagine a newsreader ordering a Chinese in the style of a newsreader. Hilarious.
Actually, I don’t love local radio newsreaders. I’m afraid I fibbed.
Why oh why oh why oh why do they speak like that?? Is it compulsory? Do they think we’ll pay special attention to the news if they sound nasally constipated? Do they think it sounds more serious? Do they honestly believe the news sounds BETTER read like that?? Do their bosses threaten to sack them if they dare read the news in a normal voice? These questions demand answers.
Hear my audition…
I’ve taken the liberty of recording an audition, hoping to segue my career into the newsroom. Have a listen and let me know if you think I’ve got a news-based future…
