“Can you sound like an obese South American woman?”

“Hi Emma, can you sound like an obese South American woman?”

“Sure. From just outside Arkansas? Perhaps with a thyroid problem? And an addiction to Gatorade and Twinkies?”

“That’s the ticket! We need it for an ad for a car boot sale being held in Aylesbury.”

How could it possibly be for anything else?

Once we got in session however, we changed the approach slightly.

“Can you sound as if you’ve got a meth lab stashed in your trailer?”

“Do you mean ‘caravan’?”

A pause.

“Yes. A meth lab stashed in your caravan.”

“Is it on a holiday park?”

“I don’t think they have holiday parks in Arkansas.”

“Is it a Swift Conqueror?”

Another pause.

“Can you stop talking about caravans, please Emma?”

To be honest, I was reluctant.

“Do I have tattoos?” I asked.

“Yes. Bad ones. And you’re called Big Betty.”

Here are the results of our labours.

Wanna hear more character voices? Click here.

For more amusing tattoo fails, click here.